Complications

Usually pregnancy is a joyful time but for some women things go wrong and hospital admission is needed.

Separated from family, friends and support network, stuck in hospital, often miles from home, joy is replaced by anxiety and fear

For some women …..

Membranes rupture way too soon

The uterus contracts too early

Blood pressure soars

Placenta’s malfunction, embed in the wrong place or shear from the uterus

Placental vessels creep out to bladder or bowel where they’ve no business being

Fetal blood vessels weave dangerously through membranes

There’s bleeding

Small bleeds Medium bleeds Large catastrophic bleeds

Babies lie diagonally or transversely across the uterus

There’s nausea and vomiting so severe that normal life grounds to a halt.

And like the rest of the population, pregnant women sometimes develop infections, blood clots, have accidents, need emergency surgery, contract influenza or COVID (especially harmful)

Women with lives complicated by drug addiction, domestic violence and poor mental health, children removed from their care, pregnant. Again.

For them pregnancy brings joy and hope, makes them feel special. Sometimes with professional support and protective family they can safely parent but often it’s clear cut, baby can’t stay with them.

The decision is never taken lightly. Separating a newborn from its mum is an ugly, emotional, heart wrenching scenario every single time but contemplating a real chance of harm to the baby makes it bearable.

Sometimes the unthinkable, the worst happens, a baby dies before being born, is “stillborn.”

Midwives sit with women in their pain, commiserate, acknowledge the utter devastation, the random cruelty of the universe

Parents stay in quiet bereavement rooms after the birth, spend time with baby, take photos, make memories, take in as much as possible before being separated forever.

We have the privilege of being the only other people to know, to acknowledge this little life. The usual oooing and aaaing happens , who do they look like, checking little fingers and toes, hair colour, “look at those eyelashes,” swaddling in blankets never meant for a baby so still

We try not to cry ourselves , it’s not about us, not our pain but witnessing it is so sad. Watching heartbroken parents leave the ward with empty arms is the worst thing.

Midwives are the constant for all of these women, morning , evening , night. Our job, to care with unconditional positive regard, kindness and professionalism.

Every woman deserves this minimal basic standard, I see it demonstrated in my workplace day after day , gives me hope for the human race working in amongst such good humans.

Lindsey Crossan Registered Midwife/Nurse