The First Calf

Barry our original cow dad was delivered from up north. Arriving home we could see a young bloke sitting on the curb, beside him on a lead nibbling the nature strip was cute teenage Baz.

He sauntered into the paddock, sniffed his new mate Sally then made a beeline for the expensive bale of lucerne in the corner, no fence jumping or running off this time, we were learning.

But this compliant beginning didn’t last.

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Emigrating to Oz

A young couple, Nurse/Midwife and Marine Ecologist, leave cold, rainy Scotland for the sunny climes of QLD Australia.

He likes adventure, change, excitement, she prefers calm, order, peace and quiet.

Their bond, an overdeveloped care factor for all living things

One small block of land and many animals later, how does it all work out? What could possibly go wrong?

Read on and see!

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The Runaway Cow

Sally and calf

Acreage and animal ownership brings joy and pain in equal measure, responsibility and hard work, you have to be up for it all! We’ve learnt on the job, made a few mistakes along the way.

Our first ever cow (Sally) arrived in a hired trailer. It was dusk. Rob drove in , shut the gate, then peered at her wondering what to do next?

Hindsight and many cows later, we should have left her in the trailer with fresh hay and water till the morning.

Seems obvious? Right?

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The Night Shift

Glasgow Royal Infirmary, 1988, drunk lad pinned down by police and porters, “get tae fk, get aff me ya bastards!” face slashed (bottle/ knife?) blood up the curtains, on the docs white coat. “Keep still!!”

My job, apply pressure (try not to get stitched to mental boy in the process) fingers scarily close to needle, thick black silk, no plastic surgeon, no operating theatre. Finally, the doc finished, another ‘Glasgow kiss’ done.

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Womens Theatre

We take modern surgery for granted. Anaesthetists safely render us unconscious, surgeons make deft incisions, cauterise, snip, scrape, biopsy, repair then we wake without remembering a thing. A miracle of modern medicine.

Not a miracle of course but the result of many highly qualified individuals coming together, an array of pharmaceuticals, specialized equipment and instruments

I often work in an operating theatre prepping women for surgery, minor, major or life-saving specific to their female sex.

In this theatre, babies are born by caesarean, haemorrhaging is stopped, prolapsing organs replaced, cancers removed, contraceptive devices placed, pregnancies ended, tiny fragments of tissue gently removed after miscarriage

Our job in admissions is to make women feel safe, respected and cared for, give them our full attention, instill confidence.

We see women across the spectrum

Elderly, Girls with mature bodies, Indigenous, Neurodivergent, (aspergers, autism, dyspraxia) Disabled physically or intellectually, With mental illness, With history of sexual abuse and resulting PTSD, With gender dysphoria, Refugees, Non – English Speaking.

All humans, all worthy of dignity, respect and equal healthcare. Negative stereotyping is deadly. Nurses know this. We don’t assume anything.

Quiet hijab wearing woman might be confident, articulate, questioning everything

Exquisitely dressed woman with the frosty demeanour and clipped communication style may be on the verge of a panic attack, just holding it all together

The woman with english as second language, relaxed in our presence, reveals a significant health issue, till now untold. Surgery is delayed.

Vague , delightful elderly woman may not understand exactly what’s about to happen, surgery can’t go ahead without appropriate consent

The next elderly woman spirited, spritely, sharp as a tack, gives accurate answers and cheek!

Shouty angry woman might just be terrified, missing her usual self medicating drugs, anger turning to tears

Woman clasping emotional support teddy, own pillow , headphones, eye mask and fidget spinner is autistic with sensory issues.

We accomodate, we manage, advocate, gate-keep, check lists, mitigate risk, tend fragile mental health, keep everyone safe. Nothing surprises us, humans are complex

Questions, questions, so many questions

Why are you here? What surgery are you expecting ? When did you last eat? Did you take any drugs today? Do you need any drugs? Any jewellery on your body, any sneaky piercings?

Some women are scared, facing a lengthy surgery for cancer, pre-chemotherapy.

Some are having minor surgery, seem glad of the anaesthetic escape, from the relentless parenting of small children

Some mortified, hating the need for surgery in their most intimate parts

Some barely conscious, rushed through from emergency, actively bleeding, blood drip, drip, dripping into a vein

We swoop, urgency, speed, focus, No words needed

Many heartbroken having miscarried a pregnancy, still bleeding, need a curette

Some having an abortion, feel shame , embarrassed, many are not, aware of their right to reproductive autonomy, no matter the opinion of others.

She’s been raped, maybe a child herself, abused by a family member, her life a train wreck, she’s vulnerable, she is septic, she is bleeding, at risk of dying if the pregnancy implanted in her fallopian tube ruptures.

She is beyond heartbroken, devastated, carrying a baby with abnormalities who won’t survive, has made the brave decision to end the pregnancy

Can you even begin to put yourself in her shoes?

No matter your feelings, thoughts, opinions, this decision is never taken lightly, is frankly no one else’s business, should not be up for public debate , certainly not by old white male politicians of the patriarchy. Photos of the Supreme Court judges in the USA abhorrent, make my blood boil

The idea of a woman not being able to have this safe procedure in a hospital is unthinkable, medieval.

In my hospital, in this theatre if you need us, you’ll be in safe hands.

Hope we don’t see you anytime soon

Lindsey Crossan. Registered Nurse/Midwife